The fear of growing old

i for one and like all fear growing old. i know i cant remain Young by body and soul. i need to grow old ,wither and vanish but is the process smooth, is it fraught with expected and unexpected twists and turns

it is not the economic security that i am worried about it is much more than that eventhough economic security is must to see through the later part of ones life. it is not like the west; where human life is valued and the older ,the more value and they never were felt a drag on the country in all its aspects including the siblings children and spouse. In the Indian context it is very difficult to visualise. there is already so much spasm that i wonder how the same will be bridged

i am more concerned as to how i will be looked at, wrinkled skin not so bright eyes may be hearing impaired and some organs failing . i will certainly need someone who will talk to me feel for me ;will my children have time for that. will the society care for that ;will i be just another number in the census statistics a faceless useless drag on every body ;will i seek asylum in an old age house.will the world stop by me and say hello; will the young help me cross the road and the motorist slow down a bit to let me cross or curse me ""here is yet another asshole why cant they sit at home or wherever"" will the story of the old coconut shell cup repeat itself.
well i dont know i am too scared to think and visualise. yes i know what i want .if i lived longer years i may have very little money but no illness please .today treatment is costly and no body has time . i dont want to feel miserable and i would like to die without much of a fuss
till then life is mine and i like to live it to the hilt. i would like to meet more people remember them keep them in loop ;yeah i have an axe to grind they will come and see me when i am dead and they will know that i had gone up and make things ready and comfortable when they come looking for me there